Feeling small? Watch the Honest Urologist's Answer

If you are serious about wanting a bigger penis, you'd better watch this video and listen carefully. Many men come to see me for the very same thing. They feel small. And when you feel small, everyone selling you a solution will start looking like a saviour. I'm a consultant urologist. I live and I work in London, and literally every week I meet men that are usually distressed by the size of their penises. Most of them have stopped dating, or having sex, or every situation where they might be seen naked. What never stops, though, is using their ruler. You have measured yourself with your ruler in the morning, in the evening, in the shower, in the toilet. You know by heart, and with the utmost precision, the size and the numbers to the millimetre. Your ruler says small. Small on your ruler easily becomes small in your head, in your relationship. Small in your life. But I believe you 100%. You wouldn't come to my clinic to tell me that you have a small penis if it wasn't what you really see every day. Truth be told, medically there are men that have a genuinely small penis, what we call the micropenis.

These are rare cases. They exist, and they deserve all the medical and surgical care. But that's not what I see most of the time.

Last week in my clinic I saw a young guy: fit, smart… obsessed by the size of his penis. He had stopped having sex, he had stopped having a girlfriend, he had almost stopped being interested in sex. He was not going to the gym any more. And then, when I examined him, instead of giving my comment, I showed him something like this: a chart from research done not long ago by the group at King's College Hospital, so that I could pinpoint exactly his position. I explained that if we picked 100 people at random, he would be third, with only two people having a penis bigger than his. And he was reassured for a second. Then I asked him: this reassurance will last what? One hour? Two hours? And he said: yes, I know. I will go back and measure myself, thinking that I'm too small. If you are watching this, you have searched online already.

And if you have searched online, you've probably met two kinds of messages. One says: oh, you're fine, stop worrying, it's all in your head. You hate that, right? Because you know it's not true. Or others that would tell you: buy this miracle pill, miracle cream, miracle device, and your problems will be completely over. And guess what? It didn't work. I don't know which approach I hate more. One is dismissing you; the other is distressing you, and potentially even causing you harm, and worse, exploiting you. My job here is different. I'm not here to laugh at you, and I'm not here to sell you a product or a miracle. Most of the time, the problem is not that the size of the penis is reduced, but that your own brain is lying to you about it.

It tends to be called small penis syndrome. It is not linked at all to the size of the penis. It's only linked to how you perceive the size of your penis. So what can you actually do? Well, first of all, try to eliminate all the noise, and remember that whoever is shouting loudly that they've got the perfect fix for everyone in your situation, the miracle cream, the magical pill, they're probably just trying to take advantage of your difficult situation and exploit you. There are many enlargement methods. Most of them work rather poorly, and there is mounting evidence that the satisfaction rate of people who have undergone those types of treatment is very low. Try to guess what can happen after an operation. Your brain is still the same. It will give the impression that the penis is still too small, and the focus shifts from the length to the girth, or from the shape that was before to the shape that is now, or from a smooth appearance to a lumpy or bumpy appearance.

If your penis is actually a micropenis, there are assessments that need to be done, and specific specialist pathways. If instead your measurements and your distress are not matching one another, then the work is different. It may involve anything from unpacking where this started, to examining the relationships that you have gone through, to understanding what you are normally comparing yourself to: if you keep on comparing yourself to non-realistic characters, for example in the adult film industry, or if there is a role for your present or past relationships. This is the ground of what is called psychosexual work, and it is so far the only recognised and effective treatment for small penis syndrome. Because again, it's not going to change the penis. It's going to help you to see how the reality is. If what I have told you so far resonates with you, I really hope I have given you some good advice. The last one is: please start a real conversation with a professional counsellor and a specialist doctor. Someone who is willing to listen to you, to understand you, and who knows that your suffering is real.